May 9, 2006 -- Philadelphia, PA. The Cap City Brewers, CARP champions in 96, 97, 99 and 04 have made a trade in attempt to restore glory to the franchise and its fans after suffering through a pathetic 7th place finish in 05.
In a hastily arranged press conference on the site of the now demolished Vet stadium, GM Pierre LaTour announced that the young future nucleus of the Brewers had been traded in an effort to "win now".
In a 9 player deal, the Brewers have sent Brandon Wood, Nick Markakis, Camron Maybin, John Buck and Anikori Otsuka to the Beltway Buckos in exchange for Curt Schilling, Vlad Guerrero, Jorge Posada and Y$$#@# Bentacourt.
"We needed help on both sides, offense and pitching", LaTour said. Even with the injuries to Harden, A.J. and Sheff we still felt this race is wide open once we get those guys back. We're sorry that Brandon and Nick won't be around, but we were happy to unload Buck, he sucks."
LaTour had no comment on rumors that Sheffield would be placed on the DL or that super prospect Delmon Young might be banned for the remainder of the year after an umpire's chest collided with his bat in an April 26th contest.
(Salary Watch: Brewers +101, Warthogs +67, Money +64, Buckos -101, Bees -131)
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